Om Sai Nathay Namah today we present a story of how Baba gave a baby to an infertile women.
(Sorry for the long post, but I do not want to miss a single miracle of Him to give hope to thousands of women who left hope of becoming mother)
Today I want to share the biggest miracles happened in my life. Four and half years of my marriage with several failed attempts of ivfs, surgery, scans, medications, injections and immeasurable stress, severe depression, choking nights, uncountable tears and what not
My Baba took many tests of mine before blessing me with His precious gift.
I got married in April 2014, I had a cholecystectomy in Sep 2014, since then I was not keeping well. Again I had to face pus removal procedure in May 2015 due to severe pancreatitis. At that time I used to think that I am facing the toughest time of my life, as we were also facing financial debts, that’s what we all think at some point of our lives, but wait, worst was waiting for me in future.
We tried planning to have Baby in Nov 2015 itself, failed first month, then second, third and fourth too. My gynae asked me to visit her if failed to conceive till Feb 2016. I visited her, she prescribed me few medicines, every month I used to take those medicines on my fertile days and wait for positive pregnancy test, but all in vain. Then came August 2016, and I got IUI done, but still no result. I waited for few more months and got my HSG test done, it showed blockage in my tubes.
Then I decided to visit Shirdi and cry in front of Baba and beg Him for my Baby. I also made 2 Baby Angels with clay 1 girl and 1 boy to offer in His lotus Feet. In Dec 2016, we visited Shirdi. There also I was seeking some miracle so that I could be assured that I will have baby in future. I asked Baba to show miracle with full faith.
So Miracle no. 1, The day before we had to leave for Shirdi, during meditation I saw black stones and golden throne and the most beautiful temple in which I was having the greatest joy of my life. But side by side I was thinking that usually in all the temples which are being constructed nowadays having white marble or white stones, except temples which are naturally made in caves, thinking this might be an be an inauspicious to see. Anyways we left for Shirdi next morning and decided to visit Baba twice same day as it was a short journey and we could not afford to stay there for long. As we entered in Shirdi I was continously asking Baba to show His miracle. As we entered the Samadhi Mandir I saw the same black stones and beautiful thorn and same temple I saw during meditation last day.
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It was time for miracle no. 2, The Clay Angel Babies I made to offer Baba were in pink (for girl) and blue (for boy) colours. I came near by Baba’s idol I was overwhelmed to see Baba in Blue clothes, I thought 1 of my wishes having Baby Boy is granted as I also got laddo from Baba’s feet as I was asking for Laxmi (Baby girl) or LaddoGopal (Baby Boy) in prasad.
Miracle no. 3, Later on same evening Baba was wearing pink clothes, I was sobbing whole evening in joy to know that my wish is granted with Baby girl also, may be later on but yes definitely in future anyday. That day I told Baba to not to let me wait anymore and grant my wish within a year or LAST TILL 2018 (His Samadhi Shatabdi saal).
Miracle no. 4, Some of Baba’s devotee asked us to offer a coconut in Baba’s DwarkaMayi, we tried hard finding there and could not find anywhere as everyone had same thing to say that coconut has been banned and you cannot offer that to Baba anyhow. I was shattered again and seeking Baba’s help, that Baba I don’t know anything, I just have to offer You the coconut as I knew if I’ll offer coconut in His feet he’ll had to fulfill my wish by giving my Baby in my womb same as coconut has water in its womb as mentioned in a chapter in Sai Sadcharitra, I don’t know why but somehow i started walking towards 1 shop and asked for coconut there and instantly the shopkeeper said yes we do keep coconut. I was crying with joy and took the coconut from there and immediately headed towards Dwarkamayi. We Husband-wife enjoyed the greatest pleasure sitting in DwarkaMayi and offering coconut there and ate the whole packets of Udi individually. We came home and started our treatment enthusiastically.
In May 2017, I had to go through blockage removal surgery. My gynae showed me hope that I may get pregnant within 1st 3 months positively after having surgery. But failed again.
Again went through severe depression, many sleepless nights, countless tears, suicidal thoughts.
I belong to para medical profession, this is why whenever I see pregnant ladies around me I pray for them but also cry uncontrollably in washroom of my workplace. Whenever I see newborns I cry and fight from Baba that if they can have Baby why I can’t have ? Although my Husband and in-laws were very supportive but still it was me who was fighting with absence of that pleasure I could have with motherhood in my life. I only wanted to have a healthy Baby that too not very late.
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I decided to go through IVF in Jan 2018, although my Dr. had warned me to not to go with fresh embryo transfer but I insisted her as it was Thursday that day, she made fun of me by saying if you think that your SaiBaba is superior than medical science then choice is yours but according to me you should not go for it and wait for few more months and have frozen embryo transfer because it has greater chances of success. But I had blind faith on my Baba that He’ll never let me down or make me the matter of fun in front of all the staff present there, and I might show them the power of Shradha (Faith) and I was heading forward unknowingly that I was failing miserably in Saburi (Patience). The day of revelation came, being paramedic, I tried UPT but failed, I thought may be it’s too early for bhcg to come in urine then I gave my blood sample and started waiting curiously for my results. To my utmost expectation it came negative too. My whole world crash down that day, I was not able to meet my eyes with my colleagues, and IVF deptt. Staff, as I denied medical science in front of Shradha (Faith) in my Baba. That time was the most difficult time for me to get out of the outcome of failed fertility treatments. I cried and cried and cried in front of Baba. I fought with Him and the worst karma I did was to throw away Baba’s idol, and when I saw it was not broken even after throwing it with full power, being in severe depression I was so furious with Baba that I picked up Baba’s idol again and throw it from my 3rd floor to the garden, facing my balcony and told Him that if You can’t give me joy of motherhood You don’t have any right to live in my house. Come to my house only when You’ll be willing to give me my Baby. I know that was the worst karma of my life, but I was in severe depression and was taking psychological treatment same time.
Again I collected the broken pieces of my soul and once again tried 2nd attempt of IVF in May 2018, but failed again miserably.
I stopped SaiSadcharitra Parayan or any prayer to Baba. I stopped acknowledging Him. My condition was getting worst day by day. I used to feel sleepy all day due to anti-depressent pills. I stopped showing any interest in life or being socialized. I left all hopes of having a biological child.
I started the procedure to adopt Baby, but that too went in vain as my in-laws were not supporting my decision and in their pressure Hubby also requested me to wait for few more years and then we’ll go for that too.
I was very upset with Baba that its really ok if He doesn’t want me to have a biological child because of may be my past life bad karmas, but atleast He can ask my in-laws to go with my decision to adopt a child, in that way a child will get his parents and parents will get their child. But nothing was executing and I was facing hopelessness in my life.
There came 15th October 2018 (Baba’s Shatabdi samadhi diwas) and went. It was my last hope but again I got my periods and that was the last time when I completely stopped believing in Baba.
It was new year eve and I was having caffeine uncontrollably, as I left it for the sake of conceiving. I was crying inconsolably as it was going to complete 1 year next morning of my 1st ivf cycle. Next day on 1st, Jan 2019, I thought I was blotting a lot with sore chest. But I ignored thinking those as my premenstrual symptoms. Next day on 2nd Jan 2019 I again felt blotting and nauseated, although it might be 100th pregnancy test of my life but still I decided to go for it.
The biggest Miracle… No. 5
To my utmost surprise, it was showing 2 pink lines. My hands were shivering, my head was spinning and I was not ready to accept that. I immediately ran out of washroom and show it to my senior, she was also having goosebumps by confirming that ‘Yes’ it was a big fat positive. That day again i cried inconsolably but with tears of joy.
Miracle no. 6, after all that I was so reluctant to acknowledge that it was Baba’s miracle. I told Him that let my Baby’s heartbeat come and I’ll start Your Parayan till my delivery. That day also came and I started reading Sri SaiSadcharita. During reading one fine day I asked Baba that how should I acknowledge it as your miracle because when I asked You to give me Baby within a year You didn’t show it and now after complete 2 years of my Shirdi visit I conceived it now. And I again started reading chapters forgetting my question. Suddenly a voice came in my ears or May be brain “You remembered that you asked for Baby within a year but have you forgotten that you also said that if my karmas are really bad then I can wait till your Samadhi Shatabdi year, haven’t I granted your wish as your lmp was 28th Nov 2018, you could have checked it on 28th Dec 2018 itself, but how it’s my mistake if you chose to check it on 2nd Jan 2019 ? Haven’t I fulfilled my promise of giving you Baby within my Samadhi Shatabdi year ????????”
I got goosebumps and I cried and cried and cried and ask Baba for forgiveness… Forgiveness for not standing on my faith towards Baba, forgiveness for throwing His idol out from my house, forgiveness for having doubt on His words… but I know nothing can justify my those bad karmas I did against Him out of anger.
I was ashamed, but also scared of losing my Baby in between journey as it was a complicated pregnancy, but throughout my pregnancy He was with me and my Baby helding our hands.
Miracle no. 7, I was due for c-section but see His plans, I went through a normal delivery And yes today I am proud mother of the healthy Baby whom Doctors declared in written as IUGR Baby. And after his birth indicated condition Brachial plexus (Now I have stopped counting His miracles no. 8, 9, 10 and goes on…). But he is a fighter and came out of all the hurdles within 2 months of his birth. And today He is perfectly fit, mentally and physically by the grace of Baba’s Udi which I used to take throughout my pregnancy…
So Moms to be (whether conceived, not being able to conceived, lost pregnancies, complicated pregnancy or kids with special needs), keep your faith firm in Baba and His Udi. One day you’ll definitely see light on another side of the tunnel where Baba is standing, waiting for you to suffer little and then when you reach there you’ll find Him ready to hold your hand and take you out through all the rough phases of life…That’s all about how Shirdi Sai Baba gave a baby to an infertile women.
Love You Baba Jaan for every single moment of my life, You own my life mere Saiyaa…
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