Why Sai Ignores Me – Anonymous Sai Devotee from India

Kindly pray for this Sai sister. She needs our prayers too to face difficulties of her life.

Anonymous Devotee from India Says: I am from India and completed my post graduation now searching for job. 

Sai Ram. Namaste everyone. You can address me as Sai’s daughter. I am from India and i want to be Anonymous. Right now I am in very difficult and painful situation. First of all, i want to tell you about me and my family. I had a beautiful and loving family. My family consist of my mother, father, my brother, his wife and his two sons and me. My mother and father both were very kind and light hearted persons. They use to help needy and who want help, they use to help them.My mother even helped my uncle by lending him huge amount and never thought bad of any one. They both were spiritual. Both believed in Sai Baba. My father was devotee of Lord Dattatreya and my motherwas devotee of Sri Lalith Devi, but both were strong believers of Sai. 

All problem started when my father was diagnosed with cancer, my mother and brother very worried and they use to cry. But I had strong feeling that Sai will help my father to get cure and my father use to say Sai come and remove cancer in him. But our happiness didn’t last long, again my father effected by it and suffered for 3 months horribly, seen hell here only and I lost my father. I was shattered even my family. I stopped talking and praying to Sai for one year. 

Suddenly Sai show me some hope regarding my future, and with full faith I did Sai Vrat for me and my brother’s promotion. During this time I got dream where I have seen Sathya Sai Baba coming to our house and even our neighbour’s house distributing Udi and blessing me and my mom that our wishes will be fulfilled. I felt a bit sad because Sai didn’t come in my dream. But later i thought Him as is other form of Sai. But Sai again dumped me. I lost for which I was praying and my brother also lost his job. Again I recovered over it and this time my mom was unwell. I thought due to her diabetics but we came to know about her heart problem. I prayed Sai that she should not get any problem. Doctors have asked for few tests to check whether she is having any blocks. I prayed Sai that she should not have any blocks. I went to Sai Mandir in morning. I got Prasad, which I give to my mom and other patients, who were there. But in test she has 2 blocks. I prayed Sai with hope that she should not undergo operation, but she has to. 

I and my brother, we both prayed for our mother. One of our relative asked to do Pooja, as my motherhas some problem in her horoscope. We said, we will do but first operation and then we will do. After operation was done, immediately my brother done Pooja at Sai Mandir. In this period, my aunt took me to Sai devotee house. There she gave me Sai Book and Photo and even to another Sai Devotee. The later devotee has habit of giving Sai Idol, who wants it and ask us to perform Pooja to Sai Idol with milk bath daily and other normal formalities. It was Thursday and she was left with only one Idol. She said I am very lucky to have it. I felt Sai has come to my house. I will not have any problem Sai came to my house and it was Thursday. Meanwhile my mom was discharged. She was slowly recovering. But later after weak, she suddenly felt discomfort and we took her to hospital. After entering into the hospital she breathes for last time. My mother left us in spite of so many prayers and so many positive sign from Sai Deva, Me and my brother became orphans. During childhood every time I use to complain Sai for grandparents love, but Sai has taken away my parents. 

Everyone blames me for my mother death. They say, due to my marriage tension, my mother has died. This makes me feel more terrible. I use to get many proposals for marriage, but sometimes, I may not like them or some time they don’t like me. Due to this I am losing my health. After my mom’s death I didn’t feel like praying to Sai Idol because Sai didn’t save my mom. I asked many people regarding Sai’s Idol that what I should do with it. Many said to leave it in Temple but my heart did not agreed and I started praying to that Sai’s Idol (I have uploaded Sai‘s Idol picture). 

We were in financial problems so we had to sell our house, which I didn’t want. I prayed to Sai to save my house. But Sai didn’t. We sold our house in fewer amounts. Every time I trust Him and He ignores me. I with strong faith make efforts to come close to Sai, but Sai every time test me very hard and also doesn’t be with me. I am unable to understand what will be me and my brother’s future. I am worried Sai is not listening. I did what I can do. I am doing Sai and Shri Guru Saptha, Sai Vrat, did as per Sai’s instruction in question answers website, but everything gone into waste. Sai never answered my prayers. 

Now days I am worried about my health. I had some discomfort in chest. I had many negative thoughts. Later I prayed Sai that I should be fine because I don’t want any serious ailments, thinking of our financial position. Every time, I visit doctor I use to pray Sai and had His Udi with water daily. I really don’t like, when devotees say if Sai does this to me, then I will post it. But this time I am very worried, I thought if doctors say everything is alright, I will post it, which I am doing now. Still I am having pain. Actually it was my post to keep my promise regarding my health. But I wrote whole incidences which happened to me. In spite of all this, I love Sai very much. Even I get angry over Him, scolding Him a lot. But still I love Him. Sometimes I feel why I love Sai, if He doesn’t listen to me. But, Sometimes I feel, Sai will surely listen to us. My brother has completely lost his faith in Sai God. But still I have hope. He will help in our financial position for our house and for my marriage (one of the major problem). We came across many things. Relative talking bad about us, for my marriage. 

Dear Sai devotees i feel as all of us are a huge Sai family. As one of the member of family, I am pouring my heart out. Sai devotees I am not complaining about our Sai Deva. Every time I read post of otherdevotees, I feel when I am going to write my experiences here. I am in deep pain mentally and physically. I am very sorry for such a long post. 
Om Sai Ram